By Jack Tompkins
This is a true fairytale.

Once Upon a Time.... in an area in the Grand Americas known as "The Great Northern Growlands" lived the Earth Keepers.

The Earth Keepers were a very peaceful people who worked hard and were good stewards of the land that God had given them. Although the work was hard, there was much love, joy and prosperity in The Growlands. The children played and the yearly harvests were abundant. The Earth Keepers’ farmers grew food to feed their people and the Earth Keepers’ lumberjacks chopped wood to make toys for their children and houses for their families.

Not only did the Earth Keepers provide food and wood for those who lived in the Great Northern Growlands, but they also provided food and wood for people the world over, so they too could feed their people and make toys for their children and houses for their families.

Because God gives blessings to people who make life better for others, He was very good to the Earth Keepers. They had picnics, grew gardens and enjoyed great freedoms. Great freedoms that had never been enjoyed by any people, in any land, at any time ever.

Then one rainy day, the "The Greensouls" showed up in the Great Northern Growlands. The Earth Keepers had heard of the Greensouls but didn’t know much about them, except that they had caused great suffering in other lands beyond the outskirts of the Growlands.

The Greensouls were usually from large villages called the "Clusterzones", which were largely crowded areas that dotted the landscape of the Grand Americas. The Greensouls had vast riches and had many friends in very high places.

After surveying the situation in the Growlands, the Greensouls suddenly decided that the Earth Keepers had too much water with which to water their crops. Using their vast riches, the Greensouls went about the task of convincing their friends in very high places to take away the water that the Earth Keepers used to water their crops. They said this had to be done because a fish needed the water more than the moms and dads and sisters and brothers that lived in the Growlands.

The Earth Keepers knew that without the water, their crops would die and everything their moms and dads and their moms and dads before them had worked for all these years would be gone. Instead of great freedom and prosperity, there would be great hardship and suffering. The Earth keepers believed that no decent person would want such a terrible situation so they tried to reason with the Greensouls’ and their friends in very high places.

Many fish experts told them that the fish would be fine with the water it already had.

One of the lumberjacks named Burly Bear Bill, told of how the Greensouls made him and his lumberjack friends stop cutting wood to make houses and toys because an owl needed the wood, even though the owl experts said that the owl neither wanted nor needed the wood. He also told them of how the Greensouls put dangerous things in the trees to hurt or even kill the lumberjacks when they tried to chop the trees down to make toys for the children and houses for their families.

A farmer from another area named Daring Dude Dale told of how the Greensouls caused trouble in his land called "The Wondrous Midwestern Plainlands" to help a fish there. A fish that fish experts said neither wanted nor needed help from the Greensouls.

A cowboy lawyer named Great Going Grant told the Greensouls and their friends in very high places that they weren’t allowed to take the water away from the Earth Keepers and give it to the fish. This action was against ancient laws and against laws that went back to the founding of The Grand Americas.

The Greensouls and their friends in very high places ignored the fish experts, Burly Bear Bill, Dirt Digger Dan, Great Going Grant and the Earth Keepers and decided to take the water away from the Earth Keepers and give it to the fish anyway.

As expected, a terrible drought befell the Growlands.

The crops dried up and the food would no longer grow. The children of the Growlands wondered why their mommies cried and their daddies’ tractors stood idle. They wondered why so many of their friends were moving away and why the ones that had stayed, didn’t smile as much anymore. They wondered why there weren’t as many toys, and why their schools didn’t have as much money to buy books. They wondered why there was so much dust everywhere. They also wondered why the Greensouls were talking about buying the Earth Keepers’ land, when they had said they were only interested in helping the fish that the fish experts said didn’t need any help.

There was great hardship and suffering.

It was around this time that the Greensouls had arrived in a land far, far away from the Growlands, located at the very opposite corner of the Grand Americas known as "The Magnificent Southeastern Wetlands", which was inhabited by a peaceful people known as the "Swamp Dwellers". They grew fruits and vegetables, fished in the nearby ocean and welcomed guests from all around the world to see their wonderful life and enjoy their warm beaches.

The Swamp Dwellers cared for the Wetlands and the creatures that lived there. They loved the birds and the bears and the turtles and the deer. They even loved the frogs and spiders that kept the bugs away from their gardens and crops.

The Greensouls started telling the Swamp Dwellers that they weren’t allowed to care for the creatures anymore, and that from now on the Greensouls would take care of all the birds and the bears and the turtles and the deer and the frogs and the spiders. They also told them that they would no longer be allowed to bring their guests into many areas of the Wetlands and that the Swamp Dwellers would no longer be allowed to enter certain parts of their beloved swamps anymore.

Even worse, The Greensouls decided that The Magnificent Southeastern Wetlands didn’t have enough water, even though there was water everywhere. The Swamp Dwellers knew that the Wetlands had plenty of water, more than they could ever use. They also knew that if more water came onto their lands, it would ruin their gardens and crops and cause everyone not to want to live in their homes anymore.

The Greensouls used their vast riches to convince their friends in very high places to force the Swamp Dwellers to take the water that they didn’t want. This time instead of a fish that had too little water, they told them there was a bird that had too much water. So they needed to take the water from where the bird lived and put it where the Swamp Dwellers’ lived.

The bird experts said that the bird would simply fly away to a place where there was less water. The Greensouls and their friends in very high places didn’t listen and decided to give the water to the Swamp Dwellers anyway, whether they wanted it or not.

The Swamp Dwellers wondered why, if the Greensouls were only interested in helping the bird (that the bird experts said didn’t need any help), they were talking about buying the homes and farms that nobody else would be interested in buying after the water came onto their land.

It was about this time that the children of the Great Northern Growlands began hearing stories of the plight of the Children of the Magnificent Southeastern Wetlands.

By now however, the children of the Growlands had become wise to the ways of the Greensouls. They knew they must warn the Swamp Dwellers and the children of the Magnificent Southeastern Wetlands before it was too late. They must tell the children of the Wetlands of the great suffering that would follow if the Greensouls were allowed to do to the Wetlands what they had done to the Growlands. The children of the Growlands didn’t want the children of the Wetlands to have to watch their mommies cry or their daddy’s tractors stand idle.

But how would they warn them? It was then that a special man named Dear Daring Dave told them of a special hay that grew in the fields where their moms and dads (and their moms and dads before them) had worked so hard to maintain before the Greensouls showed up and made all the dust.

The children of the Growlands got together and hurriedly gathered the special hay from the fields that their moms and dads (and their moms and dads before them) worked so hard to maintain before the Greensouls showed up and made all the dust. From this special hay, with great love and lots of prayers, the children of the Great Northern Growlands created "Fearless Farmer Fred".

Fearless Farmer Fred is born.

Fearless Farmer Fred was made with a happy face, because the children of the Growlands were ever so tired of all the sadness. They decided that Fred would travel across the Grand Americas to warn the Swamp Dwellers of the Greensouls’ intentions.

The only problem was that despite all of Fred’s fine qualities, he was unable to walk or drive. How in the world would he be able to make the long journey to the Wetlands to warn the Swamp Dwellers of the Greensouls?

When the grownups of the Growlands had seen what their children had done, they knew that Fearless Farmer Fred must go and tell children of the Wetlands about what the Greensouls had done to the children of the Growlands, before it was too late.

It was decided that Burly Bear Bill, Proud Papa Pat and Great Going Grant would gather others for an incredible journey, a journey unlike any other.

Patriot Defenders Network "Dear Daring Dave" (Jenest)
Klamath Falls Bucket Brigade "Rockin’ Roll Rocky" (Dipple)

They realized that not just anyone would be able to make this incredible journey to bring Fearless Framer Fred to the Swamp Dwellers of the Wetlands. Those who would go, must be the Finest of Fine and the Best of the Best. They must possess great faith in God, great dedication to duty and great love for their neighbors. Only those who were willing to leave their families and their land for a very long time would be chosen, for this journey would be as difficult as it was incredible and they would receive no treasure in return for their efforts. In fact they would be required to spend much of their own family’s treasure and be forced to endure much adversity and difficulty along the way.

In addition to all of this, the Finest of the Fine and The Best of the Best must possess vast wisdom, hearts of gold and the courage of lions. They must not be easily discouraged or prone to foolish mistakes, for there would be many allies of the Greensouls along the way who would make every attempt to thwart their efforts and stop them from bringing Fearless Farmer Fred to the land of the Swamp Dwellers. This was because The Greensouls and their friends in very high places were very worried that Fred would tell the truth about them and about the suffering they had caused. They didn’t want Fred to tell the Swamp Dwellers about the fish and the dust in the Great Northern Growlands or about the owl that Burly Bear Bill had been forced to give all of his wood to.

When word got out that Burly Bear Bill, Proud Papa Pat and Great Going Grant were looking for the Finest of the Fine and The Best of the Best for this incredible journey, the Finest of the Fine and The Best of the Best answered the call.

Among them were Rockin’ Roll Rocky and Kind Kindred Khen, Dainty Determined Dianne, Most Marvelous Morris, Best Babe Barbara, Free Fabulous Frank and his wife Pretty Popular Peggy.

They would be joined along the way by Daring Dude Dale, Good Guy Grant (not to be confused with Great Going Grant), Do-Da Dan, Joltin ‘Jammin’ Joe, Knowing Knight Knoll, Keen Kaiser King, Brave Brainy Brown, Awesome Accurate Ames and his wife Light Lovely Lynette.

The Swamp Dwellers would send Jovial Jousting Jan as an ambassador to the Finest of the Fine and the Best of the Best. Many others would also come and go along the way, too many to mention here.

The Finest of the Fine and Best of the Best loaded up their trucks, kissed their children goodbye and embarked upon their incredible journey to bring Fearless Farmer Fred to the Swamp Dwellers of the Magnificent Southeastern Wetlands.

Fearless Farmer Fred settled in for the long journey, knowing that he was in good hands. Although he was smiling (as he always did), he often felt awfully lonely. He thought of how nice it would be if he could meet someone like himself. Someone to share the joys of life with, someone to talk about the troubles of the children in his area with, someone to help him make the world a better place to live.

Sure, he loved The Earth Keepers and the children of the Growlands, but he knew that in order to make the world a better place to live, he would need help. Despite the pain of The Earth Keepers, despite his worries for the children who had created him, despite his loneliness, Fred kept smiling.

The children of the Wetlands received word about Fred’s dilemma and wanted to help, but what could they do? It was then that a certain gal named Kitty Kiwi Karol told them of special grasses that grew in the Wetlands.

Just as the children of the Growlands created Fearless Farmer Fred from hay that came from the land that their moms and dads loved, the children of the Wetlands created "Freedom Following Fran" from special grasses that came from the land that their moms and dads loved.

Freedom Following Fran is born.

Fran too was made with a happy face, because like the children of the Growlands, the children of the Wetlands were ever so tired of the all the sadness.

It was decided that when the Finest of the Fine and The Best of the Best arrived in the Wetlands, there would be a Spectacular Festival to celebrate Fred’s arrival and his long awaited meeting with Fran. So the Swamp people went about the task of organizing this Spectacular Festival. Omniscient Overview Oliver, Justice Jargon Jay and Leaping Lightly Larry who had much experience in dealing with the Greensouls and their friends in high places, came down to the Wetlands to help the Swamp Dwellers in their task.

The Greensouls and their friends in very high places heard about the Spectacular Festival and realized that they didn’t want this festival to take place. They didn’t want the Earth People to help the Swamp People, they didn’t want Fred and Fran to meet, and they certainly didn’t want the Fred to warn the children of the Wetlands about the Greensouls.

Keep in mind that The Greensouls and their friends in very high places had many riches and vast influence. Therefore, when the Swamp people tried to find a place to have their Spectacular Festival in town, everywhere they went they were turned away by those who were afraid of or influenced by the Greensouls and their friends in very high places. In addition, certain people lied to the Swamp People by pretending they were there to help them, when they were really there to hurt them and trick them into doing things that would frustrate their efforts. The Greensouls and their friends in very high places also told lies about the Swamp Dwellers and the Earth Keepers and called them terrible names. It seemed that the Greensouls and their friends in very high places would stop at nothing to prevent the Spectacular Festival from happening.

Things had gotten so bad, that a great wise-man named He-man Hero Henry was convinced to write a letter to the world saying that the Spectacular Festival would be called off. Although He-man Hero Henry had always been a great friend of the Earth Keepers and the Swamp Dwellers, he was very worried for their safety. He had much experience battling the Greensouls and their friends in very high places and was afraid that the Greensouls would do great harm to the Earth Keepers and the Swamp Dwellers if they were all gathered in one place, as they would be during the Spectacular Festival.

Even though they understood the great dangers that they may encounter, the Swamp Dwellers and the Earth Keepers would not, could not be stopped, as they were a very determined and hearty bunch. They weren’t about to let anyone or anything prevent Fred and Fran from meeting, and they weren’t about to let any amount of skullduggery stop the Spectacular Festival from happening. They knew that only God could stop the festival from taking place. So the Finest of the Fine and the Best of the Best continued moving south, while the Swamp Dwellers continued making arrangements for the Spectacular Festival. They would have the Spectacular Festival right in the heart of the Magnificent Southeastern Wetlands, instead of in town as they had planned.

He-man Hero Henry heard about all of this and was very touched by their passion and their determination. He immediately wrote another letter to the world, proclaiming that the Best of the Best and the Finest of the Fine would be bringing Fearless Farmer Fred to the Spectacular Festival after all. He would also make plans to attend the festival, despite his extremely busy schedule and the great distance he would need to travel.

The big day was getting close. The Finest of the Fine and The Best of the Best had wound their way through much of the Grand Americas and were making some friends in very high places themselves. Not because they had vast riches, but because the good people in very high places were touched by their sincerity and dedication to duty. They were often greeted by cheering crowds of people who were aware of what the Greensouls were doing in various regions of the Great Americas. The crowds gave them flags from their various capitols, and offered what little money they had so that they could continue their incredible journey. Children brought gifts for the Finest of the Fine and the Best of the Best to bring to the people of the Magnificent Southeastern Wetlands.

Finally the Finest of the Fine and The Best of the Best neared the outskirts of the Magnificent Southeastern Wetlands. They decided to go to the Capitol of the Wetlands to see if there was a flag for them there as well. Although they didn’t have any riches, they were sure that their sincerity and dedication to duty would also touch these leaders it had in other capitols. They were sure the leaders here would have a flag for them to add to their collection.

However, when the leaders at the Capitol on the outskirts of the Wetlands saw the Best of the Best and the Finest of the Fine coming, they ran away as fast as they could. Their big smiles and their hearts of gold had frightened them. You see, these leaders had already allowed the Greensouls to use their vast riches to corrupt them. They knew that the Greensouls would be very angry with them if they found out that they were talking to the Finest of the Fine and the Best of the Best.

The Finest of the Fine and the Best of the Best entered the cavernous Capitol building, and walked the empty halls, their footsteps echoing as they passed the deserted offices. They knew that they must not leave without this flag, for it was the most important flag of all. It was the flag from the land of the Swamp Dwellers, the flag of the Magnificent Southeastern Wetlands and the final flag of the many they had collected during their incredible journey across the Grand Americas.

Finally, they came to an office occupied by a lone assistant of the leaders, and noticed that he had a flag exactly like the one they were looking for. The assistant became overwhelmed by their big smiles and their hearts of gold, and realized that he had no choice but to present the flag to the Finest of the Fine and the Best of the Best. So he did just that. The Finest of the Fine and the Best of the Best graciously accepted the flag that represented the land of the Swamp Dwellers. They left the capitol building, proudly waving the flag of the Swamp Dwellers and set out for the final leg of their great journey to the Magnificent Southeastern Wetlands.

Finally, the big day had arrived, and what a beautiful day it was. God had seen to it that the skies were blue and the sun was shining. The only clouds in the sky were the big, happy, friendly, fluffy-puffy kind. The weather was warm but not too warm. There was a gentle breeze and the trees native to the Magnificent Southeastern Wetlands shook their leaves and fronds in tribute to this most lovely day.

The Swamp Dwellers sent an advance team to meet the finest of the fine and the best of the best at the edge of town. Big Buddy Bill (not to be confused with Burly Bear Bill) came with his special old cool-car built long, long ago to lead the convoy into the heart of the Wetlands. Marvelous Mythical Mark and his wife Cinnamon Citrus Cindy were there as was Best Blessing Byron and his wife Lovely Lively Linda. Also in attendance were Kitty Kiwi Karol, Terrific Turbo Tony, Jumping Jack John and his wife Merry Munchkin Marie. There were also many others, too numerous to mention here. They waited in great anticipation for the Finest of the Fine and The Best of the Best to arrive.

And arrive they did.

They roared in with big powerful trucks pulling giant metallic trophies that paid tribute to past battles with the Greensouls. They wore big hats and big boots. They had big hearts of gold and big smiles for everyone. They also wore bright happy faces despite their long incredible journey fraught with much adversity and great difficulty. The Swamp Dwellers had never seen such people; they were truly a sight to behold. They immediately realized why these folks were called the Finest of the Fine and The Best of the Best.

There was much handshaking and happy greetings.

It was time for Fearless Farmer Fred and Freedom Following Fran to meet. So Rockin’ Roll Rocky picked up Fred and Jumping Jack John picked up Fran (after all, neither Fred nor Fran were able walk or drive) and brought them to each other. Fred and Fran embraced for the first time.

Finally they were together! Fred no longer had to be lonely. He had someone to share his joys and pain with, someone to tell his stories to and someone to help him make the world a better place to live. Fran also now had someone to share her joys and pain with and someone to tell her stories to. She promised that she would help Fred make the world a better place to live.

And there was much joy and love.

After this very special meeting concluded, it came time to head out to the long awaited event. So Big Buddy Bill got into his cool-car built long, long ago and the Finest of the Fine and The Best of the Best got into their big powerful trucks that pulled the giant metallic trophies. The grand procession set off with Fran and Fred and everyone else to the heart of the Magnificent Southeastern Wetlands.

As this grand procession pulled into the beautiful home of Big Buddy Bill, people had already started to gather.

There were courageous cowboys and brave Indian shamans. Who instead of being at odds with each other, now laughed together because they realized how much they had in common. There were beautiful black people, and happy faced brown people who spoke with an interesting tongue. There were beautiful women from that mysterious land in the Far East where the great wall was built. There were old people and young people and little babies in little baby carriages. There were big people and small people and children of all ages. There were veterans of great wars who had fought for the freedom of the Grand Americas. There were big dogs and little dogs. There was a group of merry men from somewhere call "Freeperville" who came to share their knowledge of the Greensoles with those in attendance. They brought with them beautiful artwork, good spirits and fine goods.

The cool gentle breeze was rife with the smell of traditional Grand American food, which was prepared by Beautiful Belle Becky, Merry Munchkin Marie, Sweet Sugar Sarah and Virtuous Valiant Vern. The sound of traditional Grand American Music filled the air, played by Big Buddy Bill and his son Boppin’ Be-Bop Billy. People from all over the Grand Americas exchanged stories about the Growlands and the Wetlands and everywhere in between. Wise men and sages came to speak to those in attendance, and teach them about freedom and justice.

The great wise man He-man Hero Henry was there, as was Omniscient Overview Oliver, Justice Jargon Jay and Leaping Lightly Larry, all who had much experience in dealing with the Greensouls and their friends in very high places. They would teach many people there how to fight back against the Greensouls.

Fearless Farmer Fred and Freedom Following Fran stood quietly under a shady tree watching the events unfold, just happy to be in each other’s company.

Then, something wonderful happened.

Large brightly painted trucks pulled up and began parking on Big Buddy Bill’s front lawn. First one, then more came. People with pens and papers and microphones and cameras poured out of the brightly painted trucks and began to follow around the people who had come to the heart of the Wetlands to attend the Spectacular Festival. They were asking many questions and getting many answers. Among them there was Laser Light Les with his marvelous microphone and Daring Darling Donna with her candid camera. There was Pavement Pounding Pam with her pointed pen, as well as Special Someone Samantha with her ever-curious questions.

They asked Burly Bear Bill why he had to give his wood to the owl and they asked the Earth Keepers why they had to give their water to the fish. They asked about the dust in the Growlands. They asked the Swamp Dwellers about the Bird and about the water that was about to be put on their land. They asked questions about the Greensouls and their vast riches and their friends in very high places. They asked the Finest of the Fine and the Best of the Best about their incredible journey and about the flags they had gathered from across the Grand Americas.

The brightly painted trucks had huge towers that pointed towards the heavens, which sent out special beams of energy to giant metal birds way out in outer space. These giant metal birds in turn sent those special beams of energy back to Mother Earth with pictures and sounds from the Spectacular Festival. People all over the Magnificent Southeastern Wetlands, the Grand Americas and the world over heard and watched the events at the Spectacular Festival. They heard the many questions asked by, and the many answers given to the people with the pens and papers and microphones and cameras who poured out of the brightly painted trucks in the heart of the Wetlands.

The Finest of the Fine and the Best of the Best, together with the Swamp Dwellers and everyone else who were at the Spectacular Festival rejoiced. The truth was being told, despite the best efforts of the Greensouls with their vast riches and their friends in very high places. People were starting to hear about Burly Bear Bill’s owl, and the dust in the Growlands. They were beginning to learn about the bird in the Wetlands and the water being put upon the Swamp Dwellers land. They heard about the Finest of the Fine and the Best of the Best and the incredible journey. They heard about Fred and Fran.

Fearless Farmer Fred and Freedom Following Fran were delighted! Maybe if enough people heard these stories, they would help protect the children of the Growlands and the children of the Wetlands from the Greensouls. Maybe the children who had created them wouldn’t have to watch their mommies cry or their daddy’s tractors stand idle. Maybe there would be less dust in the Growlands and less water put on the homes and farms of the wetlands.

As the Spectacular Festival wound down, Fran and Fred looked out over the Magnificent Southeastern Wetlands in awe. They decided that they would stay here for a while, until they figured out what they would do next to make the world a better place to live. They also decided that they would be married at a time and place to be announced and they would invite everyone in the whole wide world to attend their wedding.

And there was much love between them.